lauantai 5. marraskuuta 2011

Embracing the Goddess Styx

Thursday. Is it day 4 or 5 now. I count that last Sunday afternoon was the point zero. The beginning of journey. I am still here. Writing this. The world is still there.

I was meditating today in absolutely dark room. A kind of sensory deprivation. Nothing extraordinary; I just did some pranayama, and then watched how the brahmacharya is progressing. I seem to have no goal. I don´t meditate any more for reaching moksha, but rather because of brahmacharya. I meditate because I wish to cool the chakras. This has changed. Tho goal is different; more concrete, more practical.
I don´t know how other people make pranayama, and I am not even interested. I practise pranayama the way Goddess have taught me. How I learnt to do it some years ago while camping in the swamps around Laitila. I don´t really do anything; I just watch in meditation how different gases and liquid fluctuate in the body. In air, there is nitrogen, oxygen and carbon dioxide. So, I watch them. There is something like cycles. The gas cycle - breathing, and the liquid cycle - the heart pumping blood. These cycles correlate to elements. They can be experienced, they are not abstract. The pranayamic cycles correlate with brahmcharyanic cycles, that are much slower, and closer to earth. And behind those slow cycles is the cycle of rebirth. You can actually feel it moving.. It is just under the earth cycle. It is the karma.
While doing pranayama in the dark room, I came to think of ancient Alexandria, and the Jewish sect, the Therapeutai:

"These men abandon their property without being influenced by any predominant attraction, and flee without even turning their heads back again."
—Philo para. 18

That is excatly the path I am following now, but I had a thought that somewhere around 100 BC, I may have lived a life in the egyptian Jewish community. I remember that Michel Baigent wrote about such mystery cults in this book The Jesus Papers. There is photos of underground chambers, and priests who never saw the light of day. These were the presocratic mystery cults, like the Eleusian mysteries. Baigent writes about the Orphic Caves in Baia.. Like this. I am attracted to this sort of underground mysteries. I am on my way to Tartarus, where I wish to meet Goddess Styx. Parmenides of Elea describes this.

"Welcome, youth, who come attended by immortal charioteers and mares which bear you on your journey to our dwelling. For it is no evil fate that has set you to travel on this road, far from the beaten paths of men, but right and justice. It is meet that you learn all things - both the unshakable heart of well-rounded truth and the opinions of mortals in which there is not true belief." (Parmenides, On Nature B 1.24-30)

These writers, like Gardner and Baigent, Robert Eisenman, Tony Bushby, they wrote some interesting books about early Christianity, but the world seems to have forgotten. Mankind loves fundamentalism so much more. Even the seekers are not interested in historical view on Christianity. They love the dogma. It just shows how blind people are. They think that the only options are the blind belief, or then atheism: denial of all. Denial of history, denial of existence itself, I think atheism is basically nihilism, and is very close to religious fundamentalism. Often I feel that the atheists and fundamentalists must be working together in a satanic plot to destroy the soul, and erase the memory.
I don´t know what will come of it. Probably they will pollute this planet, so in the end it will be inhabitable. They will think they can escape; the atheists believe they can manage to disappear into thin nothingness, and the believers think they can escape to heaven, and neither will have to face the consequences of their actions, face the karma. They think they can escape. And that God, or universe will support this plan. Which is a satanic plan. Satan does not believe in reincarnation. He doesn´t have a memory. He has amnesia, he has dementia.

So it is decided that fundamentalism and atheism are one and same thing. It is like the manic-depressive disorder, the bipolar spectrum. There are the tyrants, the maniacs with their narsistic troubles, and there are their victims, the depressive types with their schizoid symptoms. The sadists and the masochists. The sadists commit evil sins, and the masochists agree with with it, they submit themselves to evil. Even though they are not evil themselves, they never dare to oppose evil. They refuse to regocnize it, to see it, even if it is very obvious.

On the surface, it is possible to remain blind. The eye can see the skin, it can see men and women. And the eye is desirious, as most people don´t practise chastity; the desire, the lust is making people so blind. This is the illusion of this world, the maya. The eye can not penetrate deeper, it can not see the evilness, and the goodness. Only the heart can see such things.

I am the judge, I am the accuser, but I am also the defender. I am the judgement too; I am the last judgement. It is because Man contains everything; Paracelsus and Blake knew this, and Blake called it the Poetic Genius.

The only way to cut the knot of maya, is to practise brahmacharya, to begin to grow away from lust. Then grow away from ego, and become truly human, become a pure spirit, son of man. I think there is not much time. The days when we had the luxury of having plenty or reincarnations is sadly over. This planet is overpopulated and overpolluted, it has reached its limits. The sword of judgement is coming closer, and there will be time when the option of being reincarnated as a human being is no longer an option, we must choose between heaven and hell. Or we must fly to other planets, I don´t know how good people are in cosmic orienteering. Most likely they will panic, and will be poltergeists, so many people are addicted to alcohol, addicted to sexuality, to drugs, their addictions are going to drag them down. The source of addiction is the lust.

Well I dont know what I describe; probably I describe the cycle of reincarnation, after I described the cycles or pranayama and brahmacharya. Existence is all cyclical; it consists of cycles within cycles, wheels within wheels.. The big cycle, or the small cycle are not always the most interesting; the interseting state is the intermediary, the go-between cycle, as it is possible to hop from one level to another by using such steps. Like, in shamanistic journey, there are levels, connected by vertical axis, the axis mundi, the tree of life. If I think of meditation, pranayama is a good threshold, a twilight zone. The air element. From prana, go to pranava, to ether and water. From there to earth and fire. Cross the Styx. Close the eyes and enter the Hades. It is not that difficult. In ancient mystery cults people crossed the river.. they went to the other side.. Why would it not be possible for a modern man?

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